These two made me laugh out loud (yes, I actually lol’d):

…Baby seal walks into a club… what a tragedy…

and

…A guy walks into a bar. “OUCH!”…

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Another one on the puny site (*heehee*) reminded me of a joke my favorite ex-roomie tells a lot:

What do Budweiser and sex in a canoe have in common?

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They’re both f***ing close to water.

I posted a recipe for Because Pie over at the Munichies today, and one sentence made me think of a really silly joke I know. Here’s the one-and-a-half sentences that sparked this flash of inspiration: “place the dish in the oven for about an hour. Take it out, place the mozzarella slices on top and put it back in the oven for another half hour.”

And here’s the corresponding (?) joke (it’s a Q&A type of joke, where you ask some unsuspecting friend or foe a question and they’re bound to give the wrong answer):

Q: How do you go about putting an elephant into the fridge?

Naturally, most people struggle with the answer to this, as there doesn’t seem to be a sensible way (never mind a reason) of getting an elephant into a fridge, and of course they’re expecting a serious twist. Well, life could be so simple:

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A: Open door, put elephant in, close door.

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After having contentedly watched your victim slap their forehead, there goes the next question:

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Q: How do you go about putting a giraffe into the fridge?

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And of course, after having gotten the first one embarrassingly wrong, they quickly and confidently reply: Open door, put giraffe in, close door.

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Wrong.

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The correct answer, of course, is:

A: Open door, get elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

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Tsss, silly friend/foe.

The joke goes on and on and I keep forgetting the rest. I shall look it up shortly and maybe I’ll post an update at some point. But I wouldn’t count on it if I were you, because, if “daily”, to me, means “sporadically”, what could “at some point” possibly leave to hope for?

So after I had spent about half an hour trying to decipher what she had intended to write and looking up all kinds of things in search of hints as to what the hell she was referring to, I decided to formulate three simple questions about matters I wanted to be sure of, because they were assignments the completion of which required quite some expenditure of time if taken on seriously.

So I mailed her my questions (they were along the lines of “did you mean this author when you wrote that name?” – “when you write ‘network’, which one of these do you mean?”).

What I received in reply to this were some marginally serviceable answers to my questions and a really helpful hint to “not just execute orders but to use my brains”. That so totally made my day. And left me without any intention of actually using up too much of my brains for this task – and how could I? After all, I had spent almost all of them already, trying to decrypt her first email. What was left went into devising a witty, yet calm and innocuous reply I never actually sent, indicating my inability to not use my brains, because they’re just there.

I’m almost sure she didn’t mean it the way it sounded to me. But the woman teaches leadership, for Christ’s sake!

Okay, there are times when the things they do aren’t actually little, or funny, or a little funny, or anything anyone ever invented an adjective for. Sometimes they’re downright frustrating and make you lose your faith in mankind. And it’s those times in particular, when you have to stay amused and not let them infiltrate your serious thoughts too much! Easier said than done, I know. But let me help you. It’s what I’m here for. It’s where I flourish.

The next couple of posts might deal with Emails or comments I got from my bossess over the years. And I will try my worst to give them a funny spin, put them in perspective a little. In the grand scheme of things, emails are just the result of someone vigorously tapping little plastic buttons with their fingertips and some electronic thingamabob transporting stuff from here to there. How could that be significant? And comments, spit at you from across the room during a meeting? – nothing but air trying to get away from that sharp tongue as quickly as possible and eventually hiding in the coils of your (and everyone else’s) ears. S i g n i f i c a n t ? Hoooow?

There you go. That’s the topic we’ll be exploring this semester. Lookin’ forward to it. Or am I?