What a feeling
Aaaaah, what a feeling!
I don’t have it often enough.
But when I do have it, there’s this fuzzy gush of yay soaring through me, and I can’t seem to find my head because I’ve used it all up.
Do you know that feeling? It’s “being-proud-of-yourself”.
In my case, it’s being proud of myself because I think I’ve managed to write a (first draft of a) research proposal in almost no time that would have taken most other people half a day.
I could be wrong, of course. Maybe what I’ve written isn’t even worth the paper I’ve written it on (well, I typed it on the computer, so there’s no paper, which means I should be safe as far as the value of the hypothetical paper is concerned). Maybe most other people could have finished it in less time, and done a better job, too. Maybe I’ll be told tomorrow that it’s all just a big fat load of bull crap and the worst thing I’ve ever written and how dare I steal everyone’s time. If that happens I’ll be ruinously embarrassed.
But you know what? It doesn’t matter. Just doesn’t. Because at this moment I’m feeling really proud of myself, and I don’t mind telling anyone who’ll listen, because I think I’ve done well. If I haven’t, I’ll find out soon enough, but until then I’m just going to enjoy that feeling of having no head because I’ve used it all up. I like it. And I need to cultivate that feeling since, as I pointed out earlier, I don’t have it as often as I should.